I'm Dying To Leave This Hell Hole.

I'm dying to feel what it feels like to be free.
I'm dying to feel what it feels like to be the real me.
I'm dying to feel what it feels like to not live in fear.
I'm dying to feel what it feels like to always have a smile on.
I'm dying to feel what it feels like to have a life.

Many of you think you know the real me, but truth is I don't even know who I am.
Ive always done everything to please someone, whether its my parents (specifically my father), the school, the FFA program or whatever else it may be.
Truth is, I want to know the real me.
Truth is, I'm afraid to meet her.
Truth is, I'm afraid of being a clone of my father.
I rebel so much right now just so I prove to him that I am nothing like him so I be everything he never was, but when I'm gone and I no longer have to live a lie in my own home, am I going to be the monster of him that I could have been born with.
I look at my little brother and it kills me to see him acting so similar to my dad, day after day. I know he bows down to him cuz ever since we were little we were told that he was "god". Now that I think about it becuase he doesn't rebel does that me that when I move on to Corvallis......will I turn into that?

I'm dying to leave this hell hole....
but afraid of the monster that I might become.