A Life Full Of Friendships Lost.

The friendships I make with people mean the world to me. I think its really one of the most important aspect of my life. I try to lead my life in an open inviting way, be kind to everyone and not judge by what I hear or what I know. Obviously everyone judges at one point in life, but when I met a friend, who I won't name we will call her Jane* for the time being, I heard everything over the sun about her good and bad. Jane was the one that everyone wanted to be friends with but only if she could help them when they needed it. So I got to know this Jane. I let her into my life and she let me partially into hers, which I completely understood knowing the situations she was in.
Most people couldnt really believe that we were even remotely close. We were complete opposites, from different sides of town and had completely different views on everything, but it worked. I considered her one of my best friends. We had a falling out not long back which really broke the friendship up for quite a long time. After not being on good terms we finally decided that it wasn't worth it to be mad at each other. Things happened Jane and myself realized that really we were just being foolish.
It took me a lot longer to really gain trust back with Jane. It was one of those situations where most people wouldn't even consider going back to the person that caused alot of problems. I finally noticed that she was being completly serious. She wasn't trying to hurt me again. She was really trying. I finally got the chance to go see her the other day. It was weird at first just because it was almost 4 months before that I saw her, but then I was fine. It felt like old times.
Not three days later, after I gained trust back and gave into her "Jane" ways as I would put it, she told me over a text mind you, that she wasnt someone I should be friends with. I knew her past but I didn't care anymore. A past is called a past for a reason. She kept saying I need to let go, leave, not come back again. If anyone knows me for about...20 mins. they would realize that I'm a very stubborn person, I told her no that I couldn't let go, I didn't understand. I was confused to the utmost confusion there could ever be. I didn't get what was going on. I didnt understand why she was doing this, all she would say is I'm not a friend you want. The thing she doesn't understand though, is she is a friend I want.
Ever since she sent that text that said "Bye", I haven't known whether she would come back or not. If she would talk to me after giving herself time to cool off. Right now I'm trying to get myself ready to "let go" if needed. I'm really hoping that it doesn't end like this. I can't stand to lose another friend. No matter if she comes to her senses it still kills me to say "Bye".

♥ Kayla Renee